These are unpaid roles for credit only, in a free podcast production.
Record your best takes for all lines and save them in one .mp3 file per character. Please do not clean or otherwise process your recordings.
Please name your files like so: CHARACTERNAME_YOURNAME.mp3.
If you have more than one audition (which is totally awesome and welcome) please zip them ALL in ONE folder.
Send to TableRoundPost@gmail.com
Shakespeare is poetry but also drama. For clarity in audio, lean towards the more naturalistic readings; let the acting guide the performance, not the rhythym.
Deadline for auditions is **MAY 1!**
Please note: we are casting multiple roles from the ones listed below!
ANY GENDER ROLES:
THERSITES (any age/race/accent)
An enslaved alien, a coward constantly insulting everyone. Sees the worst in all things while laughing about it. Feel free to try different 'alien' kind of voices, but please no post-effects.
LINE 1:
I am a bastard too; I love bastards: I am a bastard begot, bastard instructed, bastard in mind,
bastard in valour, in everything illegitimate. One bear will not bite another, and wherefore should
one bastard?
LINE 2: (insulting)
Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles;
Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon;
Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool, and
Patroclus is a fool positive.
EREPHON (20s-40s/any race/American accent)
A Greek warrior.
LINE 1: (natural cadence)
I do disdain thy courtesy, proud Trojan:
Be happy that my arms are out of use:
My rest and negligence befriends thee now,
But thou anon shalt hear of me again;
Till when, go seek thy fortune.
AENEAS (20s-40s/any race/prefer British accent but will consider others)
Hector’s right hand. A staunch soldier.
LINE 1: (natural cadence)
Trumpet, blow loud,
Send thy brass voice through all these lazy tents;
And every Greek of mettle, let him know,
What Troy means fairly shall be spoke aloud.
LX-NR (any age/any race/any accent)
A robotic servant. Very polite.
LINE 1: (natural cadence)
This man, lady, hath robbed many beasts of their
particular additions; he is as valiant as the lion,
churlish as the bear, slow as the elephant: a man
into whom nature hath so crowded humours that his
valour is crushed into folly, his folly sauced with
discretion
FEMALE ROLES:
CRESSIDA (teens-20s/any race/prefer British accent but will consider others)
A complicated young woman, too wise to be wholly idealistic about love, but too young and in love to be cynical.
LINE 1:
Men prize the thing ungain'd more than it is:
That she was never yet that ever knew
Love got so sweet as when desire did sue.
Therefore this maxim out of love I teach:
Achievement is command; ungain'd, beseech:
Then though my heart's content firm love doth bear,
Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear.
LINE 2: (witty)
In kissing, do you render or receive?
I'll make my match to live,
The kiss you take is better than you give;
Therefore no kiss.
ULYSSES (Middle-Aged/any race/American accent)
The cleverest of all the Greek commanders
LINE 1:
The great Achilles, whom opinion crowns
The sinew and the forehand of our host,
Having his ear full of his airy fame,
Grows dainty of his worth, and in his tent
Lies mocking our designs: with him Patroclus
Upon a lazy bed the livelong day
LINE 2:
I have a young conception in my brain;
Be you my time to bring it to some shape.
CASSANDRA (20s-40s/any race/prefer British accent but will consider others)
The half mad princess of Troy.
LINE 1:
The gods are deaf to hot and peevish vows:
They are polluted offerings, more abhorr'd
Than spotted livers in the sacrifice.
LINE 2 (insane raving)
Cry, Trojans, cry! practise your eyes with tears!
Troy must not be, nor goodly Ilion stand;
Our firebrand brother, Paris, burns us all.
Cry, Trojans, cry! a Helen and a woe:
Cry, cry! Troy burns, or else let Helen go.
HELEN (20s-40s/any race/American accent)
Born to unimaginable privilege, too vapid to realize she is shallow. But very, very pretty.
LINE 1:
Ay, ay, prithee now. By my troth, sweet lord, thou hast a fine forehead. Let thy song be love: this
love will undo us all. O Cupid, Cupid, Cupid!
MALE ROLES:
TROILUS (teens-20s/any race/prefer British accent but will consider others)
Youngest prince of Troy, and a slave to an almost juvenile passion.
LINE 1: (in love)
Her eyes, her hair, her cheek, her gait, her voice,
Handlest in thy discourse, O, that her hand,
In whose comparison all whites are ink,
Writing their own reproach, to whose soft seizure
The cygnet's down is harsh and spirit of sense
Hard as the palm of ploughman: this thou tell'st me,
LINE 2: (making an argument)
You fur your gloves with reason. Here are your reasons:
You know an enemy intends you harm;
You know a sword employ'd is perilous,
And reason flies the object of all harm.
HECTOR ( 30s-40s/any race/prefer British accent but will consider others)
Prince of Troy and the most valiant and noble warrior among the Trojans.
LINE 1:
Hold you still, I say;
Mine honour keeps the weather of my fate:
Lie every man holds dear; but the brave man
Holds honour far more precious-dear than life.
PANDARUS (Middle-Aged/any race/prefer British accent but will consider others)
A retired hedonist who gets his kicks arranging other people’s love affairs.
LINE 1: (saucy and funny)
Well, I have told you enough of this: for my part, I'll not meddle nor make no further.
He that will have a cake out of the wheat must needs tarry the grinding.
LINE 2: (bitter and complaining)
A goodly medicine for my aching bones! O world! world! world! thus is the poor agent despised!
O traitors and bawds, how earnestly are you set a-work, and how ill requited! why should our
endeavour be so loved and the performance so loathed?
ACHILLES (20s-40s/any race/American accent)
Vain. Lazy. Cruel. Proud. Somewhere between a psychopath and a pro wrestler.
LINE 1: (angry in battle)
So, Ilion, fall thou next! now, Troy, sink down!
Here lies thy heart, thy sinews, and thy bone.
On, Myrmidons, and cry you all amain,
'Achilles hath the mighty Hector slain.'
LINE 2: (creepy threat)
I am Achilles. Behold thy fill.
NESTOR (Really really old/any race/American accent)
A former warrior, now a creaky cyborg, in love with the sound of his own voice.
LINE 1:
With due observance of thy godlike seat,
Great Agamemnon, Nestor shall apply
Thy latest words. In the reproof of chance
Lies the true proof of men: the sea being smooth,
How many shallow bauble boats dare sail
Upon her patient breast, making their way
With those of nobler bulk!.
AJAX (20s-40s/any race/American accent)
A mighty fighter, more brawn than brains, quick to anger.
LINE 1: (shouting while beating someone)
Cobloaf! You whoreson cur! Thou stool for a witch! I shall cut out your tongue.
LINE 2:(pridefully bragging)
Why should a man be proud? How doth pride grow? I know not what pride is. I do hate a proud
man, as I hate the engendering of toads.
PARIS (20-30s/any race/prefer British accent but will consider others)
Prince of Troy, a mincing pretty boy and hedonist
LINE 1:
He eats nothing but doves, love, and that breeds hot
blood, and hot blood begets hot thoughts, and hot
thoughts beget hot deeds, and hot deeds is love.
PRIAM (Really really old/any race/prefer British accent but will consider others)
The king of Troy
LINE 1:
Come, Hector, come, go back:
Thy wife hath dream'd; thy mother hath had visions;
Cassandra doth foresee; and I myself
Am like a prophet suddenly enrapt
To tell thee that this day is ominous:
Therefore, come back.